Annaleaz

Interviews

annaleaz

What is your name and occupation?
            Annaleaz De La Torre-Fennell, Graduate student and small business owner of Two if by Seam
Why do you think women judge each other so harshly?
            In general, people judge to others to make themselves feel better. Women have fallen into judging because the majority want to be the “ideal” woman, who is portrayed by media and perpetuated by other women and men. However, we all realize that there is no way to be this “ideal” woman and to compensate for our shortcomings, we judge others to make ourselves feel that much closer to “perfection” rather than understand that our differences are what makes us perfect.
What do you think young women need to hear more often?
            As a female, we do not need to live up to anyone’s expectations but our own. Whether it be for a friendship or a relationship, we should never change our standards and our brains for anyone. Be you through everything.
What do you think is your best quality?
            Perseverance. The amount of times I have been called fat, ugly, worthless, too smart, never going to do anything, weird, so on, have not brought me down. Each comment made to me has helped me push on rather than be a reason to give up.
What accomplishment are you most proud of?
While getting my masters degree in business and engineering so young is a success, I am most proud of starting a business at 20. It has made me learn to network, market, and push myself to constantly learn outside of the classroom.
What advice would you give your younger self?
            Impossible is a state of mind. Through hard work and often rather large amounts patience, every goal can be met, in one way or another. Just because it gets tough doesn’t mean to give up. Keep pressing on.
How do you find ways to be happy?
            I dance and sing around my room. I also craft, often. I’m an old lady in a 21-year-old body.
How do you learn to love yourself more?
            I make sure the people I talk to and choose to be around don’t put me down but encourage me. They also help me put things in perspective for me. Also, I have a fantastic boyfriend. He helps keep me positive and not put myself down.
How do you think other girls could learn to love themselves more?
            Honestly, girls need to believe in themselves and not lower standards for anyone. Just doing this has limited my regret in my life and I am proud of my decisions choices, making me love myself more one choice at a time.
       Is there anything else you would like to add?
For any of those girls that love the sciences or math, keep it up! Multiple guys have told me that smart girls are intimidating. That’s not true. Be yourself and some guy is going to not just like you for it, but love you.
Advertisements

Chrystal

Interviews
ChrystalRose-coco.jpg

-What is your name and occupation?

My name is Chrystal Rose and I’m a writer & entrepreneur. I own Rebellia which is a clothing company for athletic women and blog over at Heylittlerebel.com. I’m the author of a memoir and have a children’s book that should be coming out later this year. I’m also a local chapter president for the global women’s business organization, FemCity.

-Why do you think women judge each other so harshly?
Judgement in general is natural when people pop outside of societal norms, but I think there’s a kind of visceral judgment that is different. I think that it comes from a couple of places, but both are internal. First, there’s insecurity. When we feel badly about ourselves we tend to pick apart others. Second, sometimes it’s envy and when we feel envy, we usually feel shame. That shame is then projected onto someone else in a negative way, like disdain.
-What do you think young women need to hear more often?
Believe in yourself. Stop believing other people’s lack of belief in you and put all your energy into self-belief. I see so many women who just don’t have that. They are so scared to try, so scared to fail. But when you believe in yourself, you also trust yourself. You’re not going to let yourself completely crash and burn, and you know what? If you do, then you know that you are strong enough to pick up the pieces. You know you can lose everything and stand back up and come back for more. Self-belief leads to self-awareness, self-trust, self-reliance and a whole lot of resiliency. No one’s doubts (or even their support) should ever be louder than your own belief.

-What do you think is your best quality?

I’m an insanely hard worker and I’m resourceful. I’m also kind. I’m not sure I have a “best” one, because I definitely wouldn’t be me without the sum of all my parts, but I think kindness is important.

-What accomplishment are you most proud of?
One of my last companies, The Indie Chicks, was an online women’s magazine when I came into the fold. One day I had the crazy idea to do a print issue and we just sort of went for it. It was exciting! After our first issue came out I asked myself, “Could we get this in stores?” I had no idea how, I just pitched a few companies and was shocked when we got a couple offers. Though short lived, our magazine had a couple issues distributed nationwide and one even had a small run in Australia. When I’m feeling stuck, I remind myself I did that and that I can do anything, no matter how daunting it may seem.
-What advice would you give your younger self?
Lift weights. Start NOW. Love yourself. START NOW.
-How do you find ways to be happy?
This is a good question because I suffer from depression, anxiety, insomnia and night terrors. My world can be a very, very dark place at times. I do my best to self-manage all that, but I find I am happiest when I’m taking care of myself. When I am eating well, training well, looking in the mirror and appreciating myself. I find a lot of happiness in giving to others. I feel like I’m so fortunate to have escaped the sort of fate someone with a past like mine would normally have. It drives me to help people. Sometimes it only takes a minute or two and it feels good to know that I’m capable of elevating someone else. I’m also very fortunate to have such an amazing husband and partner in life. He adds sunshine to my world and I couldn’t be more grateful to him.
-How do you learn to love yourself more?
 
Gosh for me this was so hard. I think fitness really helped me discover self-love. Not just the physical aspect but getting to transfer all the mental and emotional strength I’ve carried over the years into a barbell. It feels so good. It helped me to accept myself in the moment and that it was okay to have goals and a destination but to really live in the now, rather than where I want to be.

-How do you think other girls could learn to love themselves more?

I recently wrote an article about waiting to love yourself and I opened it with: “We live in a world where people feel like they need to wait to love themselves. Like we have to unlock some achievement, obtain a goal or get a little closer to perfection before we deem ourselves worthy of our own love.”
 
Like, what is that? I hate that this is even a question. We don’t ask ourselves how we can love someone else more. We just do. We just love them. Even if they hurt us deeply, we usually can’t just stop loving them. Why isn’t this true when it comes to ourselves? Why is self-loathing the norm? Why do we have to embark on a multi-year journey and practice self-love when it comes so damn naturally to love someone else?
 
Start putting yourself first. Practice self-care. Live in the moment. Accept where you are right this minute. Have gratitude. Believe you are deserving, at the very least, of your own love.

– Is there anything else you would like to add?
Some of my best friendships have come from women who didn’t like me at first. I never noticed because I’m completely oblivious to that for some reason, but had they gone with their initial snap judgment of me, we wouldn’t have this amazing friendship. People are multi-dimensional. They are more than what you see on social media. They are more than their hobbies, their looks, their religion, their beliefs, their vote. They are more than what meets the eye on the surface. Maybe you aren’t going to end up everyone’s best friend, but I think it’s so important to have compassion for other humans, especially when they lack it themselves. Those are the people who need it the most.
You can visit Chrystal’s blog here http://heylittlerebel.com/

Mariah : January 2nd, 2017

Interviews, Uncategorized

image

What is your name, age and occupation?
My name is Mariah, I am 18 and I work in retail.

Why do you think women judge each other so harshly?
I feel like somehow everyone is jealous of each other. So people try to find something wrong with the person that they’re judging to make themselves feel higher then that person. In a way society makes it okay for people to judge other people. Especially with girls, we see celebrities being judged every day. So we feel like we’re critics.

What do you think young women need to hear more often?
That it’s okay to be weak and vulnerable sometimes. That ties in with the last question because everyone is judged and it’s okay to show your feelings towards that. I feel like women feel like they have to be strong all the time and not show that something hurts. It’s okay to make mistakes.

What do you think is your best quality?
I think I’m a good listener. I feel like people are comfortable coming to me with their problems, even if I don’t give the best advice, sometimes it’s good for people to just vent. Because for me, I like to tell certain people my problems and I don’t want necessarily want for them to say something back I just have to let it out. And I feel like I’m like that for people like they can just come and talk to me about their problems.

What accomplishment are you most proud of?
Graduating high school. That makes me seem like a slacker, but throughout my academic year I had tough situations that I went through. When my cousin passed away and when my mom had cancer, I felt like I had to grow up really fast. So in high school I kind of rebelled and felt like it wasn’t as important because I mentally already grew up so fast.

What advice would you give your younger self?
That you don’t have to accomplish everything. Like with me growing up so fast so young. Like it’s okay to have a childhood, to make mistakes. You don’t have to please everyone. A lot of kids feel like they have to grow up super fast because of situations that they’re in. When my mom was sick I felt like I had to grow up and take care of her and I didn’t let anyone else take care of me.

How do you find ways to be happy?
Panda Express. I get happy when I’m around certain, positive people or when I’m in a positive environment. But honestly Panda Express makes me happy.

How do you learn to love yourself more?
I’ve always been super self conscious about my body type because I used to be a pretty chubby kid. If I’m feeling down about myself, I look at old pictures and you can see a huge difference. I’ve lost almost 100 pounds, so it’s nice to see how far I’ve come. When I was little I was obsessed with being skinny but now I see all these plus sized models and it makes me feel better about myself.

How do you think other girls could find ways to love themselves more?
I feel like everyone should find something about themselves that they admire, or that other people admire. It’s always good to compliment girls and boost their self confidence because you never know they could be insecure about certain things that you actually like about them. Every girl should find something they like about themselves whether it’s a physical quality or another quality about themselves. You never know what they could be going through that day, and then just one compliment could make them feel better. More girls need to compliment instead of judging each other.

Meet Priscilla

Interviews

fullsizerender

My name is Priscilla and I’m fifteen.

What do you want to do when you graduate school?

I want to do studies of management and luxury marketing and have my own brand of cosmetics or work into the world of fashion, makeup, etc.

Why do you think women judge each other so harshly?

I think it’s from nastiness and jealousy. I think everybody must love his neighbor to live in perfect harmony!

What do you think young women need to hear more often?

They need to hear to take advantage of their youth and they should not want to grow up too fast, before their age.

What do you think is your best quality?

I don’t really know, but I think i have a lot of fun and I’m very open-minded.

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

I think I’m proud of having great grades on my exams and having met my favorite celebrities.

Who have you met?

French YouTubers and French singers such as Chloe B, Lea, Mademoiselle Gloria, Math, the animator of melty, and Jul D&P.

What advice would you give your younger self?

To be more generous with my friends and family.

How do you find ways to be happy?

Traveling, spending time with your friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, and to care about everything.

Meet Paige

Interviews

FullSizeRender (13)

Hi there! My name is Paige, I’m 16 and a junior. I’m a pre-professional dance and I work at an art museum.

What would you like to do when you graduate?

I’d really like to dance, whether it’s in a small company or off-broadway, that’s the dream!

Why do you think women judge each other so harshly?

I think it’s to make themselves feel better! I mean, if someone says to themselves something negative about someone else, it automatically brings up positive thoughts about themselves. People just want to feel good about themselves, they’re just going about it in the wrong way.

What do you think young women need to hear more often?

I think that they need to hear that life is tough, but you can still be kind! It’s hard to get to where you want to be, but you don’t have to “step on everyone” to get there.

What do you think is your best quality?

I think I’m really compassionate towards helpless victims; animals, people affected by violence etc.

What inspired you to become the person that you are?

My family is very arts-oriented and I was really lucky to grow up in such a great environment.

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

Just becoming the person that I am. I’ve overcome depression, eating disorders and self harm and I’m very proud of my recovery.

What advice would you give your younger self?

To try not to be so hard on myself! Not everything is the end of the world- try to find the good in things.

How do you find ways to be happy?

It’s really the little things that matter the most to me. A really nice day, seeing a friend unexpectedly, etc.

Meet Dani

Interviews

img_0425

 

What is your name age and occupation?

Danielle Kelley (most of my close friends & family call me Dani), 30, I work in Digital Marketing for a technology company as a Product Owner & I’m also a Freelance Writer & Editor.

What do you think young women need to hear more often?

Being a woman is HARD; hell being a human is hard these days but what a beautiful journey it can be. It’s so much more than being strong, but having to fall all the way down (more than once) and understanding that picking ourselves back up can’t always be done ALONE. I believe that life is a little harder for women because we are constantly having to prove our status. We have to prove that we can balance motherhood, a career, the choice to not have kids, our sexuality, marriage, friendships… it’s exhausting.

Why do you think women judge each other so harshly?

We can be very judgmental by nature but I think one of the main reasons women judge so harshly is simply because they don’t love themselves FIRST. We are a reflection of ourselves and I’m a firm believer that what we get back, what we put into the Universe. It’s not hard to be kind, show respect, lift one another up as women and support each other, but it is hard for women to just be themselves and not care what other women think of them. The amount of solace and the kindness I’ve received from other women, just by showing a small amount of support and gratitude is incredible. Let’s not make each other small by making yourself look bigger. Just accept that we are all different and on our own journey to  success, happiness… and LIFE.

What do you think is your best quality?

We are our toughest critics and often driven by fear, if we allow ourselves to fall down to the ground and believe that we are strong enough to pick ourselves back up, we can achieve so much more. Life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine— it’s rainbows, sunshine, unicorns, thorns, needles, fire and beauty all rolled up into one. Don’t let fear limit you, but help you drive down this chaotic path we are all on. When you see what you’re capable of, understand your strengths, accept your challenges and keep moving forward, it’s one of the many reasons why I can still keep going in life.

What advice would you give your younger self?

BE NICE TO YOURSELF FIRST!!! This is what I would love to tell each and every woman I meet. We don’t exist to please men. We don’t exist to please women. We don’t exist to be rich one day. We don’t exist to drive a nice car and live in a fancy house and be better than everyone else. We exist to be a little bit better versions of ourselves than the day before. To grow and learn and understand the challenges that are life and that the simple things, really can make you happier.

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

As a woman who grew up with major challenges, lost a parent suddenly at a young age and didn’t value herself at all until the past couple of years, I’m proud of my strength, hard work, motivation, and independence. I’m happy that I can now see the good in most things and I’m becoming comfortable with who I am. I embrace my “nerdiness” and enjoy being a voracious learner. I’m not afraid to take major risks and love the crazy life journey I’m on.

What advice would you give your younger self?

Advice I would give to my younger self- without the depth of a kind soul, life will be NOTHING of value to you.

How do you find ways to be happy?

I find a tremendous amount of joy traveling, reading books, drinking strong coffee, deep, wonderful conversations and laughing until it hurts. The life I’m building is simple and it makes me feel incredibly empowered to know that I am entirely up to me and that I have opportunities and choices.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

Chloe, your blog is beautiful and I love the message you are portraying. We need to stand together as women and not against each other. This small act of kindness you are putting out into the Universe, reflects what a beautiful soul you are. KEEP IT UP.

“To experience love for each other, we have to love and let love.”

Kindly,

Danielle Kelley

Camille

Interviews


My name is Camille and I’m a 20 year old business student.

Why do you think women judge each other so harshly?

I think that we have “models” that we always refer to so we compare ourselves and other girls to these models. Also, I think that most of girls that judge so harshly are maybe not so self confident and they try to feel good by comparing themselves to other girls.

What do you think young women need to hear more often?

That they are pretty the way they are and that they are equal to men! They should hear that they can become everything they want, they should not limit themselves.

What do you think is your best quality?

Good question! I think my best quality is to be determined, I’ll always do my best to achieve my project! And I will never let someone tell me I can’t do something. If they do, I’ll show them they are wrong.

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

My studies! I am proud of being accepted into business school!

What advice would you give your younger self?

To believe in myself.

How do you find ways to be happy?

I find happiness when I am with my boyfriend and my family! I am also happy when I am at the gym, where I learn to love a little bit more of myself.

How do you learn to love yourself more?

By doing sports and feeling stronger. Also thanks to my family and boyfriend who always support me and tell me that I am great as I am and that they love me the way I am.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

Just that every girl should accept themselves!

Friday Feature: Lyrik

Interviews

My name is Lyrik Fryer, I’m 19 years old and I am the founder and blogger of Lush + Luxe at http://www.lushandluxeblog.com

Why do you think women judge each other so harshly?

I think it’s because our society sets it up to be that way and we take that in from a young age. The media is constantly feeding us the notion that us as women have to be in competition with each other and I think that has a huge impact on our gender as a whole. 

What do you think young women need to hear more often?

Young women definitely need to hear that they can do anything they set their mind to. 

What do you think is your best quality?

I think my best quality is my vision and work ethic. I’m always planning on what I’m going to do next with Lush + Luxe and how I’m going to do it. 

What inspired you to become the person that you are?

Traveling the world has had a huge impact on me. I’ve travelled to 16+ different countries and it’s taught me all about culture and has given me a new perspective on the world. It’s influences everything I do. 

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

I’m most proud of my blog, Lush + Luxe, because I’ve put so much of myself into it and to see everyone that I’ve reached with it, is so rewarding. 

What advice would you give your younger self?

I would say to not care about what anyone thinks about you and do what you ultimately want to do. Everyone gets so caught up in trying to fit in and it’s just a waste of time. 

How do you find ways to be happy?

Taking time for myself is essential for me. Getting away and clearing my head always levels me out again. 

Is there anything else you would like to add?

I would just like to say thank you for this wonderful interview. It’s so important for us as women to stick together because we’re all working to achieve our dreams. 

Mathilde

Interviews

FullSizeRender (11)

 

My name is Mathilde Maire, I’m 21 and an English student.

Why do you think women judge each other so harshly?

I think it’s due to how society has always been very critical of women and pitting women against each other.

What do you think young women need to hear more often?

Young women need to know that they’re appreciated and that they have so much potential. I am so sick of all the negativity surrounding teenage girls and how they’re not taken seriously. Every thing they do is seen as silly- just look at how Young Adult literature (a genre written for and read mostly by young women) is perceived! They need to know that they can do so much and that they shouldn’t let anybody tell them otherwise.

What do you think is your best quality?

Oh that’s a hard question, I never quite know what to say to that! I would say that my best quality is that no matter what. I always try to do my best-probably has something to do with me being a perfectionist.

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

This is a boring answer but it’s going to be my degree! I started a Bachelor of Arts in English studies four years ago and I was so passionate about it. I graduated a year ago with the highest honors and I’m very proud of my degree-even though I’m changing course and will be studying something completely different next year.

What advice would you give your younger self?

I would say: don’t be afraid of failure-it’s part of life! You will end up making mistakes but that’s not the end of the world, even if it feels like it at the moment.

How do you find ways to be happy?

I surround myself with good people and find pleasure in the simplest things- reading a good book, hanging out with my friends, going on a walk in the city, etc.

You can follow Mathilde’s lovely instagram account here @relationsheep